like, a million times. or even just once. i wish i had some sense of whether i'm doing this right, or if i'm going to fuck it all up. i wish things that are obvious to other people were obvious to me.
people tell me that you never really know what you're doing, that everyone is stumbling along blindly. but i've made some spectacular misjudgements in the not so distant past and i think my blind may be just a little bit darker than everyone else's.
i wish my experiences made me more sure of myself, instead of less sure.
i wish i didn't panic.
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but that ain't the hardest part. The hardest part is to keep it together.
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